Lovejuice
by mushi6618
Summary: After insulting Cupid, Beej finds himself in the "diaper" of said cherub. Forced to do the matchmaker's job our lovable "Ghost with the Most" finds that pairing lovers can be prankable fun. That is, until he's found out. As punishment for not following the LIST, BJ's forced to right his wrongs, and hopefully do so before Lydia permanently falls in LOVE. Will she forget him?
1. The Names Cupid

Disclaimer: I don't own Beetlejuice the cartoon or the movie.

…

Lydia maneuvered the scissors gently and slowly along the line she drew on the magenta paper. This card was going to be different from the rest since it was for a very dear &amp; special person. It was for a friend; a _best_ friend. She smiled at the carefully traced lines, surely he wouldn't notice the perfect asymmetrical sides, smirking she gave a small snort. He really didn't pay attention to that kind of stuff anyway. Lydia could just hear his reaction.

"_Details… ya know I **hate** 'em!_"

Shaking her head, Lydia began to hum the Day-O song under her breath, not paying attention to the swirling fog forming in the mirror behind her. Focusing back on her project Lydia turned the paper in her petite hands. The long scissors were a little old fashioned but they were the sharpest in the house; plus they had a delightful gothic feel. It only made sense to use them; they were originally _his_. Smiling, she opened the handles ready to turn the paper at the center fold of the heart.

"_**BABES!"**_

Startled, Lydia accidentally closed her hand, the scissors followed suit, and the paper-heart evenly cut in two.

"Hey! How ya doin'?" Beetlejuice gave his best friend a frightfully large grin from inside the mirror. His eyes were closed and when he opened them –instead of finding a smiling greeting– his friend had her back turned to him from across the room. She was shaking, he hoped, in laughter.

"Could be... _better_, BJ." Picking up the half of heart that fell to the ground she substituted sticking her tongue out at it instead of at him.

"Huh?"

Still not facing him she replied. "You scared me and I accidentally ruined my Valentine's Day card." She held up the magenta paper for him to see over her tense shoulder. Lydia reasoned with herself: she wouldn't be mad at him for this. It was an accident, but that didn't mean she wasn't disappointed. She'd spent a lot of time getting the perfect color paper, folded the seam just right, made it able to close perfectly so it looked just like the half of heart in her hand...

Lydia sighed.

"Piff, _Valentine's Day_." Beetle's face scrunched up in disgust and his lower lip was sucked up under his green rotten teeth. Eyes closed, he then opened his mouth to let his green striped tongue roll out. "**YUCK**! Worst "_holiday_" EVER!"

Lydia turned around to face him. She put her hands on her hips as he began to dry heave. Once again shaking her head, this time at his actions, she walked up to her mirror. "Yeah, sure Beej." She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Then I guess you don't want the Valentine's Day _present_ I got you?"

Beetlejuice's face perked up at this. '_Present!'_ He thought. His eyes opened as his tongue rolled out of his mouth, draping itself down over his chin. Excitement coursed through his body at the thought of being given something, and not only was it for free, but it was from Lydia.

His head started spinning of its own provocation. "_WhaaAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!_"

Lydia put a hand to her mouth to control her giggles. She watched as his hands stopped his spinning cranium (_bemused that for a second his eyes kept spinning in their sockets_) and slammed both his palms and forehead to the barrier that separated him from the Realworld.

"What is it, Babes?" His tongue panted out, fogging the other side of the mirror. "Come on, come on, come on, TELL MEEEE!"

"_Hahahahahahahaha_…" Lydia couldn't help but laugh at his antics. "Why don't I just show you? Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, BEETLEJUICE!"

Effortlessly he twisted out of the mirror, striking a pose he hovering over her vanity's chair, arms and legs stretched out and one foot still inside the portal. He gave her another one of his gruesome smiles, which he was sure she thought to be charming, and puffed out his chest in grandeur. "In the _rotting flesh_, Babes!" The pun triggered his magic and he slowly decayed into a puddle on the floor leaving only his face to stare up at his friend.

Lydia was now doubled over laughing. As she slowly straitened her position as his magic reversed and he was back in his original form. Leaning forward he "laid" on the air. Hovering on his belly, his feet bent back, and placed his chin on his palms as he watched Lydia fan her flushed face. "You're such a _ham_, Beej…" He turned into a giant ham at her pun, but this time, quickly turned back.

"Yeah, I know, Babes…" He smiled devilishly at her. "_Soooooooo…_ What dit ja git me?"

Lydia had to roll her eyes. "Well, besides going to the V-Day Carnival with you…" She paused and quickly ran to the desk on the other side of her room. Shuffling around, Lydia opened the lower left drawer and pulled out a box. The box itself was eight by six inches and 3 inches deep. It had two different wrappings, the bottom was green with purple hearts and the top was white with red skulls, and it was topped off with a large black bow. "…TA-DA!" She held it up for him to see.

Beetlejuice swung from his laying position to a standing one. Hovering an inch above her rug the ghost looked questioningly at the obviously painstakingly wrapped package. This wasn't just some thrown together gift. This was an _importantly_ wrapped gift, like something she'd do for his Deathday or their anniversary. "Wow Lyds. Nice _wrap_ job!"

At this his clothes turned into baggy jeans and t-shirt with a picture of a ghetto beetle, a ball cap with the bill turned to the back appeared on his head (_it read Sexy Juice in bejeweled letters_), along with a large fake-diamond studded dollar symbol on a big golden chain around his neck. Overall he looked like some dead 90's rapper. Frustrated he looked down at himself as Lydia once again broke into a fit of laughter.

"I said **WRAP** not RAP!" Listening to his command his body quickly changed itself back. To release some stress Beetlejuice blew a raspberry at himself.

"Wow, BJ… *_snort_* or should I call you B &amp; J!" She laughed at him once more. "But seriously, ha-ha, thank you."

Beetle blushed as she once again held the present up to him. Her eyes were closed in mirth and a thought suddenly struck him that he didn't have anything for her! He didn't usually take part in a holiday that disgusted to a point beyond physical illness. Sure, he'd spent Valentine's with Lydia for the past seven years but it had never been anything to take seriously. After all, Lydia knew of his dislike for the "L" word. She knew he couldn't choke down sappy stuff like romantic movies, flowers, and overly sweet chocolates. He liked bitter dark chocolate, horror and comedy movies, and scarring the pants off lovey-dovey couples! And he would never, never, **never** say the "L" word to ANYONE in any _romantic_ way!

Beetlejuice's eyes landed back on the box in his best friends hands. "Uh… Hey, um… Gee, Lyds…" She looked up at him. He gulped, hunched his shoulders and bowed his head to look at her feet. In a whisper he said: "I kinda, um, didn't get you anythin'." His face flushed. It wasn't often he got embarrassed but when he did it seemed to always happen around Lydia. That was both a blessing and a curse in itself. Lydia, thankfully, didn't notice and just perked up. She closed her eyes and gave him a big bright white smile.

His heart pumped a beat in his chest.

"Oh, that's ok, Beej! It's not like I don't know you can't stand Valentine's Day, I just wanted to do something special this year… y-you know, because everyone thinks that after you turn _eighteen_ it's not "normal" to be handing out V-Day cards anymore…" Lydia was rambling and she knew it. "Its just my _last _Valentine's Day before the gloom &amp; doom of adulthood... I-I know you don't like all that kiddy, mushy, heh, "love" stuff…"

Goodness, she just couldn't shut up! Lydia blushed; her mouth ignored her thoughts of protest. So instead of clapping her hands over her traitorous mouth (_not that she could since she still held his present_) she shut her eyes tighter and hoped for a good outcome. "B-Besides… I, uh, I know y-you show your l-love for m-me by being there when I n-need you! He-he-ha-haa!" At this admission both turned a bright cherry red. Beetle's heart seemed to pound in his chest and sweat began to form on his brow. Why did she always make him feel like he was suddenly alive again?

Feeling a little hot around the collar, then pulling on said collar only to have real steam puff out from his shirt, all Beetlejuice could think about was how a girl ten times his junior made him feel like a teenager. All hormones, sweaty palms, and …_naughty_ ideas. "Y-Y-Yeah… right. *_gulp_* Whatever ya s-say, Babes." He rolled his eyes to the ceiling trying to avoid looking directly at her.

Clearing her throat she tried a third time. "An-Anyway, HERE!" This time she shoved the present into his upper chest, practically right under his hooked nose.

Holding the present he lowered it to his stomach. Beetle gripped the bow and pulled on the ribbon, it unfolded, and the black silk drifted to the floor. Slowly, he lifted the lid. Beetlejuice's mouth salivated, eyes growing large, and drool visibly leaked down his jaw.

"There you're favorite! Dark chocolate dipped dung beetles, still _alive_, with used coffee grounds &amp; dirt topping." Pride seeped into her voice and she felt confidence swell in her chest."I d-dipped them myself." When he didn't respond to her she opened her eyes to look at his boots, her one foot toeing the purple and cream rug. Her confidence was slipping…

"Lydia."

Her head shot up to look directly at him. Beetlejuice never used her full name outside of a dangerous or stressful situation. Lydia's eyes widened as he quietly put the lid back on the box of dung beetles that were held in place with pins, and turned to set the box down on her vanity. She watched as he straightened his back, turned, and walked towards her in a determined step. Confused and frightened (_in a good way_), she watched his jaundice yellow-green eyes burn into her own. She was almost relieved when he closed his. A feeling that'd made itself known for a few years now began to seep into the lower part of her stomach. The room felt hot all of a sudden and Lydia wished her breath wouldn't come and go in tiny short gasps.

"B-Beej?" She didn't dare say his full name... only too glad she could say anything at all.

Standing there in front of her, his head bowed once again, he blushed as a specific thought wiggled its way into his conscious. He had pictured it so clearly, and he'd almost acted on it. He was going to stroll over to her and _show_ her just how much he liked her gift. Then she looked at him.

This stopped him _dead_ in his tracks. Fear… he'd scared her. So he'd backed off and only entertained the thought in his mind. "Thanks, Babes." His eyes cracked open to give her a soft look and a goofy grin. It was enough to break the silence and the tension that had suddenly developed.

"No problem, BJ." Lydia let out a sigh, which turned into a few giggles, which then turned into a full blown laughing fit. She probably did this to ease the tension that had formed in-between her shoulder blades. Then she hugged him, just to show he hadn't really scared her, and inhaled the very _unique_ scent that was her best friend.

Meanwhile, Beetlejuice was having an inner battle with himself and having Lydia cling to him didn't help. Slowly his hands went to wrap around her right as his thoughts cut into him. '_She's growin' up…'_ Shocking himself with the revelation, he watched as Lydia's eyes leveled with his mouth. She was short compared to his six foot tall standards, but still a lot BIGGER than she'd been as a pre-teen. His hands twitched to run through the black-silk hair that had grown down the girl's back. How he wanted to stroke the silky lengths. '_Not just brush it like I used to do.'_ He thought. Beetle's eyes looked down at Lydia's upturned face; her eyes were closed as she gently held onto him. All he could think about was kissing her pretty little black &amp; pink lips.

'_One… **one** kiss wouldn't hurt - just a kiss, soft, simple, just one little peck…_' Beetle's expression hardened. '_But it might change our friendship; it's not worth it._' His eyes looked to her lashes, willing her eyes to open. '_Ah… but it's Lydia, surely she could understand, take it as a joke or something! I wish, I **want**…_'

Beetle's hands gently grabbed Lydia's upper arms and pulled her away from his torso. He avoided her surprised expression by looking at the carnival poster lying on her desk. "I _can't_." He said it so softly, so quietly she didn't hear him and dropped his hands to his sides. He cleared his throat and spoke flatly. "Valentines is for **_saps_**, Lyds, it just isn't my style." He rolled his eyes around the room trying to look anywhere but her. "Gotta say, Babes, your present is…" He forced a smile, looked at her, and let his head pop off and began to float in-between their bodies. "…a _head_ of mine."

Lydia wasn't amused. In fact she looked downright insulted by his pun. Her eyes narrowed at him and Beetlejuice soon found himself struggling to put his head back on. After all it was never a good idea to _lose_ your head in a situation like this.

"Not _funny_, **B.**"

'_Oh no… she's using single letter nicknames!_' He thought. '_I'm in trouble._'

"Valentine's Day is IMPORTANT. It shows the people you LOVE that you CARE!" Her glare cut into him. "Even _YOU_ could appreciate the holiday in SOME way?"

It was a challenge. He didn't back down from a challenge, in fact, it only made his proverbial hackles go up. Feigning interest in the subject he began studying his nails as if bored. He made sure not to make eye contact, however, because that would surely debunk his bluff. "Piff… right Babes. I don't "L" word _nothin'_, not even _myself_." He looked at Lydia via the mirror, but he couldn't see her face, just her shaking body. "If ya ask me it's a 'stupid "holiday"."

"_Please–_ you think you're _such_ a tough guy!" She pointed at him "I **KNOW** you love SOMETHING…" '_I know you love **me**…?'_ Lydia thought to herself.

At this he did look up at her. Her eyes were shut tight again and her face was red from yelling. She looked… _hurt_. A small pang of guilt swelled up in him only to be choked down by his pride. His face flushed in anger. Didn't she get it, he didn't love ANYTHING! Like him his emotions were DEAD! Sure they surfaced every once in a while, more often now that he'd been hanging out with a breather, but that didn't mean squat!

"NO, _LY-DI-A!_ I'M A **DEAD** GUY! There's a difference, I don't have "feelin's" and stuff like that! I don't _care_ about stuff like that! An even if I wanted to – I STILL WOULDN'T **LOVE** ANYTHIN'!"

His face had transformed into some form of monster, but it wasn't the frightening face that had scared Lydia. It was the admission and the truth in his eyes that had Lydia frozen to the floor, tears spilling out her dark brown eyes, and clutching her heart as if it had broken. When she spoke it was just above a whisper and in such a jerky, hiccupped filled sentence that it literally drained all the color from Beetlejuice's already pale light-purple face.

"Wh-What… abo-*_hick_*-out _me_?"

It was like getting hit by a train, a ton of bricks, and three elephants all at once. His stomach collapsed in on itself, his knees went weak as he began to shake, and his heart literally jumped into his throat. He tried to talk, but his heart _wasn't_ supposed to be beating, let alone doing so in his throat. Beetlejuice put his hands up in front of himself; partly to calm Lydia and partly to protect himself should she decide to get violent.

"Wa-Wait, L-Lydia! _Lydia!_ I di-didn't mean it! LYDI-…"

"BEETLEJUICEBEETLEJUICEBETTLEJUICE!"

She'd said it so fast that even with his juice he couldn't have finished his apology let alone have enough time to stop her from sending him back to the Neitherworld. With a clear image of her red, tear streaked face etched into his mind, Beetlejuice found himself once again in the cool afternoon air of the one place he really didn't want to be. He looked at his surroundings and found he was standing on a table in some sickening romantic café. He stood on what appeared to be the young couple's dinner. Still slightly angry he juiced up a horrifying face and scared the two ghouls so bad they ran away in opposite directions still clutching their chairs. Unfortunately, it did nothing to improve his mood, but it did grab attention.

"Stupid." He smacked his face. "_Stupid_." He smacked his face again. "**_Stupid._**" He smacked his face a third time and left his hand there.

"Actually, the name's _Cupid_. With a **C**, I might add."


	2. The List

Disclaimer: I don't own Beetlejuice the cartoon or the movie.

…

"_**Ye**__eeahhhoooww_!" Startled by the tap on the shoulder, after all most ghosts tended to avoid him when he was in a mood, Beetle turned to glare at this… Cupid fellow.

He jumped away from the man like he was the plague itself. Dressed in nothing but a diaper, one with _pink_ _hearts_ on it, Beetlejuice recoiled in fear. The man wore dark tinted sun glasses, his wings were pure white, there was an arrow case slung low on his small back, an archer's bow in his hand that actually looked like a _frilly purple bow_, and he was puffing on a rather large stogie. His hair curled in a large swirl at the top of his head and was pink. PINK! _'Ugh… I'm gonna throw up!'_ Beetle thought. The ensemble was topped off with a purple crown of hearts that floated just above the 3 foot tall man's head. Cupid scratched at his 5 o'clock shadow as he introduced himself once more.

He held out his hand. "Cupid's my name &amp; romance is my game." The short man floated up to Beetlejuice and got into his personal face-space. "Do you have _any_ idea of what you just **did**?"

"Yeah, jus' scared some stiffs…" He waved his hand and the winged-man backed off.

"Well, thanks to you that lovely young couple will never find true love!" He waved his stogie in the direction of two ghosts still scrambling to get out of the café. They were having a bit of trouble with the chairs still stuck to them.

"Aw, shucks. Hey, no prob-lema!" Beetlejuice gushed; to him it was a compliment.

"Don't you get it? You **ruined** their happiness! Love is a great and powerful force in life –and in the _afterlife_– you can't just _scare_ it AWAY!"

"Ugh… Please, love is for losers an' diaper wearin' wimps!" He started picking his nose.

"It's part of the dress code, MORON!" Cupid fumed, steam literally blowing out his ears. "How **DARE** you _mock_ the most **IMPORTANT** holiday of the year!"

"_Important_? HA! Give me a _break_!" At this Beetlejuice broke into several pieces that fell to the table, this shocked Cupid, and a minute later they both pulled themselves back together. "Besides, Cupsie-Doopsie, everybody knows that "Valentine's Day" is just a "_HALLMARK_ _Holiday_"!" Beetlejuice shrugged at the small-diaper-man then peeled into a fit of laughter. He reclined in the air sitting Indian style hovering above the table. Laughing so hard at the little-man's expression he had to hold in his sides.

"…**_HALL-MARK_**?" The cherub ground his teeth as he spit the word out. Cupid sucked on the stogie so hard that in one puff it disappeared to ash; snorting the white smoke out his flared nostrils. Cupid felt furious. The thick shades he wore began to crack in his anger. His face turned a deep dark red and a large red veil pulsed on the right side of his forehead. His body flushed a dark pink. His quiver quivered. Then like the lid on a teakettle, he exploded, steam &amp; all.

"THAT'S **IT**!" He shouted. "I won't have you _spew_ another WORD-"

"Meh …whatever." Beetlejuice cut him off. Looking utterly bored Beetle stood up and slowly drifted to the ground. He put his hands in his pockets and turned away from the seething cherubim. Cupid's anger dimmed as the ghost ignored him. Then a light bulb over his head turned on.

_'I'll show you…'_ He thought and reached his arm around his back, but instead of grabbing one of the heart-tipped black arrows, he pulled a white feather from one of his wings. _'Let's see how __**you**__ like being a CUPID.'_

"Get ready…" Cupid pulled the arrow back and held the bow steady in the ghost's direction. "…Beetle-_jerk_." The arrow sailed through the air just as Beetlejuice threw up his hand in a mock wave goodbye.

"Smell ya later diaper boy-_ya-YA-OOooowwwwwwwww_!"

Beetlejuice's eyes and tongue popped out, his hair stood on end as his hands reflexively grabbed his now sore rear-end. He jumped several feet up into the air. "_**Ya**__aaa-__**Ah**__hhh-__**Ow**__www_!" Landing back on the ground he began rubbing the sore spot on his tush. Gritting his teeth he was annoyed to find nothing protruding from his rump. Confused, he stared at the obvious hole in his trousers where something had stuck him from behind.

"Yeash, what the-"

_**Feelings. **_

Budding feelings of love and kindness, enough to nauseate, flushed though his body. He felt ninety degrees hotter; leaving his skin a rosy pink. A motion atop his head alerted him that his hair was moving of its own accord. It shifted into curls at the bottom and his bangs curved into a heart shape over his forehead. The teeth in his mouth wiggled around, he presumed, straightening themselves. Beetle could feel a permanent blush rosy his cheeks.

Then in a poof his suit and boots were gone! Only to be replaced by a black and white vertically striped diaper with a magenta heart shaped pin in the front. His feet remained bare. A heart shaped purple crown spun into existence on top of his head. Another poof and a lime-green quiver with heart-tipped black arrows tied itself to his side. Beetle looked down at his hand only to notice he now held a lime-green bow. The topper was a frilly pair of white puffy wings that suddenly sprouted from his back and began to flap wildly sending him up into the air. Not used to this new form of flight Beetlejuice wiggled and flailed in the air trying to get his bearings. He managed to turn himself upside down, panicked, and let the horror consume him.

"_Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_!"

"_Ah, hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha_…" Cupid held his gut and in a fit of laughter curled into a ball. Beetlejuice stopped screaming and managed to right himself. Pointing at Cupid he stuck out his chest.

"WHAT DID J'YA **_DO_** TA ME?!"

"Ah-ha… Ahh, nothing _much_!" His grin split his face. "I just gave you some of my powers… Mr. _**Love**__juice_!" Cupid's smile was downright evil (_slightly comical since his teeth looked like upside down hearts_) as he directed his gaze at Beetlejuice. Instantly, Beetle's face turned a light pink then heated to a deep blood red.

"L-L-Lo-**LOVE**JUICE?" Beetle stuttered.

About to supply a witty comment Cupid watched confused as the "Ghost with the Most" suddenly tried to choke himself to death. It was quite hilarious to witness. Unfortunately, Cupid was a busy man and had no time for this. "You realize that won't work? You're already _dead_, remember?"

Beetle let go of his throat and huffed out stale air. His face was slowly returning to the rosy pink color it now assumed. He stared down at his hands _horrified_ at how his red tipped fingers almost bleed in with the new color of his skin. He turned to look at Cupid and flew over to him, pointing directly in the little-smug-man's face.

"**_FIX_** _THIS_!" He yelled.

Cupid stuck a finger at Beetlejuice's chest; specifically where Beetle's heart would be. "Not until you've learned your _less-sooon_!" He sing-songed with a goofy smile. "You'll go around the Neitherworld and "couple" the people on this L I S T!" A long yellowed piece of paper appeared in his right hand. "And you will shoot these special arrows…" A heart-tipped black arrow appeared in his left hand. "…at them so the dead will fall in love!" The items disappeared as Cupid clapped his hands together next to his cheek. Cupid's black sun-glasses slipped down his nose, raising his eyebrows, and exposing his eyes as they looked skyward. The man's irises glowed_ bright neon pink _and pupils were heart shaped.

"Once you've spread joy &amp; love throughout the Neither-land you'll be a better person!"

Beetlejuice shuttered in disgust; totally creeped out by the sight and thought. Mid-flight he stood frozen in the air and crossed his arms over his chest. That would never happen. "NO. WAY."

Cupid pushed his glasses back into place and put a hand on his hip. Another evil smile spread across the little cubby man's face. "Oh-ho-_ho_… but you don't have a choice! Mr. _Love_juice." The cherub reclined in the air and gestured to Beetle's body. "If every ghost and ghoul on that L I S T hasn't fallen in love you'll be STUCK as Mr. _**Love**__juice_ …FOREVER! AHH-HA! HA! HA-HAAA!"

_'I can't get out of this?'_ Beetle thought, and then paled to a light pink once more. Shoulders slumping he went over every idea his mind could come up with. All he got was a lot of mushy-lovey ideas about spreading sunshine and flowers throughout everyone's existence.

It made him sick.

Dejected and becoming depressed, his eye's looked to the sky._ 'What would Lydia do?'_ At the thought of the girl his heart started beating. Beetlejuice flushed with color and his shoulders relaxed. _'Lydia...'_ A dopey grin appeared on his face. _'Ugh… snap out of it, B-Man!'_ He shook his head. _'Gotta __**not**__ think about Lyds… I just… hafta get this over as fast as possible!' _Beetlejuice held out his palm. "FINE! I'll do your _crummy_ job."

**~POOF!~**

A long yellowing parchment landed in his hand. He waited for it, but the pun never activated. Beetle scratched his head with the rolled up paper, confused.

"_Greeeeeaaaat_! See you in THREE hours!" Cupid disappeared in a swirling cloud of pink-white smoke &amp; red hearts. Beetlejuice just blinked three times as the hearts disintegrated. His hand balled into a fist and crushed the paper.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS CUPID!" He said at the top of his lungs.

Beetlejuice –or rather– Lovejuice, leaned back and propped one of his legs on the other. Slinging the bow over his shoulder his now free hand came to his chin, having his thumb and forefinger cupping it. He rolled his eyes in mock curiosity. "Hmm… now what to do?" He un-gripped the parchment in his hands and scanned it. Eyes hooded, he read the word printed in big bold back letter: L I S T. _'Yeah, no duh.'_ Looking down he read the first two names. In between the two names was a heart shaped box.

...

L I S T

Mayor Maynot

(^)

Ms. Bugsley

...

"YUUUUCK!"

BLEACH. He needed BRAIN BLEACH right NOW!

After a few moments of losing his cool, Beetlejuice finally calmed down as a thought stuck him. Quickly, he magicked a black &amp; white stripped pen into his free hand. Proceeding to fly over to where he knew the Neitherworldian's Mayor resided he situated himself just outside one of the grouchy politician's high windows.

"Let's just _change_ things around a bit…"

...

Mayor Maynot

(^)

Ms. Bugsley

Sandworm

...

Crossing out Maynot's beau-to-be he laughed wickedly at the seeing if the man would actually fall for a Sandworm. Stuffing th into his diaper he grabbed an arrow from his quiver and held up the bow. Closing an eye and sticking out his tongue in concentration he aimed at the inviso-mummy. The arrow zoomed right through the glass and found purchase in the man's rear-end and like the devil Beetlejuice watched wickedly as the man jumped up surprised. It felt way too good to do that to someone else after having it done to yourself. Maynot swayed, and collapsed in his seat.

Five minutes passed by...

• • •

…nothing happened. Beetlejuice's shoulders slumped and he lolled his head. "What _gives_?" Frustrated he pulled th back out and stared down at it. Pulling out his pen he scratched his temple with it. Moving the pen he began tapping the purple crown of hearts.

_Hearts_… that's it!

Smiling down at the paper he positioned the pen inside the small heart shaped "**check**-box". His eyes looked towards Maynot as his hand gracefully wrote a check through the heart. He only had to wait a minute before the familiar sound of a screeching Sandworm filtered into his ears. Bemused he watched as it crashed up through the floor of Maynot's office and the mummy-man, while terrified at first, ran _towards_ it with hearts in his eyes!

He was only slightly disappointed when one of the security officers grabbed Maynot and high-tailed it out of there. All the while Maynot had been screaming out his undying *_snort_* "love" for the raging creature. He watched shaking with hysterics, as the monster chased the Mayor and his cronies down the road, causing all sorts of chaos and calamity. It seemed that Beetlejuice's first day on the job as a "cupid" was more fun than he would have giving credit for. Finally controlling his laughter he looked at his next …victim.

...

Monster Across the Street

(^√)

Miss Monster Across the Street

Poopsie's Butt

...

I. M. Smallhead

(^√)

Miss Argentina

Used Plunger

...

Scuzzo the Clown

(^√)

Little Miss Warden

Loaded Canon

...

Up till this point it had been a blast! As much as he'd hate to admit it Beetlejuice enjoyed causing this love-based havoc. Who knew you could fall in love with inanimate objects or specific body parts …on dogs? Powers That Be, he was having the time of his afterlife!

Looking down at the next name on the L I S T he skidded to a stop in the air.

...

Jacques LaLean

(^)

Ginger

...

His stomach flipped and vomit gurgled up in the back of his throat.

"_GEEEE-RRROOOOOOSSSSSSS_!" He dry heaved. "And not in the _good_ way…"

Making his way to the Roadhouse, Beetle began tapping the pen to his chin. _'Now how do I get around this little pre-dic-a-ment…'_ Drifting into the Roadhouse he quickly shot his two friends with the black arrows. Rolling onto his back he stared up at the paper. Hesitantly he drew a line just above Ginger's name. On the line he wrote Sneezecake and smirked. Chewing on the tip of the pen he checked the heart-box.

Beetlejuice watched perched on his couch as Jacques ran directly from the Roadhouse at the Monstress Across the Street. What a shame that she just so happened to be caring a Sneezecake to give to her Monster today. Laughing so hard he began to snort. Jacques began kissing and serenading the cake, the skeleton was actually adding an extra _layer_ of romance to his accent.

Underneath Ginger's name he drew a crude heart and wrote Moldy Sock under it. He went upstairs to his bedroom and found one of his nastiest smelling moldy-green socks. Returning to the living-dead room he flung it to the floor and checked the box he'd drawn. He could have died all over again laughing at the sight of Ginger flinging herself at the sock. She acted as if it were her one-true-happiness or something…

Beetlejuice's laughter died down at the realization. He supposed it was one thing with the Mayor or Scuzzo, but he KNEW Jacques &amp; Ginger and as much as he would never admit it aloud… he did feel they were something akin to friends.

Leaving the Roadhouse feeling rather low, Beetlejuice tried to shake the feeling off. Floating down the street he winced, Monstress tried to free the cake from Jacques bony grasp by hitting him over the head with Poopette. Stopping in the middle of the road he realized he was standing where Lydia's door would normally appear.

"Lydia…"

She would NOT have approved of what he'd been doing. Beetle scowled. _'So what?'_ He was still angry at her, though for the afterlife of him he couldn't remember why. Hovering, he sat in the air and looked at the last name.

...

Donny Juice

(^)

*Non-Applicable*

...

"Non-applicable?" An eyebrow raised in confusion. "You gotta be kiddin' me?"

It figures that his brother, of all the ghosts in the Neitherworld, _wouldn't_ have a love interest for him to mess with. Of course, that didn't mean he couldn't substitute someone or something for his dear younger brother. Didn't he prove he could with the rest of the ghosts on the L I S T? Expression darkening he whipped out the pen. Beetle could make that goody-two-shoes brother of his fall madly in love with ANYTHING! Beetlejuice eyed the paper like it was suddenly made of gold.

"Oh, the _possibilities_..." He cackled.

The pen touched the paper and an image of Lydia appeared in his mind's eye. _'Ugh… Lyds.'_ He mentally spoke to the picture in his head. Picture Lydia crossed her arms at him. _'Come on, Babes!'_ He pleaded in his mind. Picture Lydia dropped her arms and gave him a hurt look, just like the one she'd given him a few hours before.

"Ah, buggers." Beetle looked down at the paper. Picture Lydia's eye's pleaded with him in his mind.

Beetlejuice felt torn.

On one hand he really wanted to prank his brother, and although he wanted to appease Lydia (_granted she was a picture at the moment in his subconscious_), he just couldn't refuse Prankenstein. _'What if… what if it's someone I know she doesn't like?'_ Now his gears were turning. Picture Lydia perked up (_she was still part of his conscious_) and smiled. Looking down at the paper he lifted the pen and wrote the name.

...

Donny Juice

(^)

*Non-Applicable*

Claire Brewster

...

First action: maniacal laughter.

It was just too good…

Beetlejuice lifted the pen once more –ready to check the heart– when a swirly pink-white cloud "poofed" behind him. Startled he dropped the pen and turned around to see what made the rather loud noise. Had it been three hours already? Like a strike of lightning he remembered **WHY** he was acting as a love-messenger. All color in his face drained. Beetle almost had a panic attack; he didn't want to be stuck like this FOREVER! As soon as the thought pass through his head the parchment in his hand was snatched away.

"Soooo… Let's see how you did? Shall we?" He quipped with a smug look. Cupid held the parchment in front of his face. "Hmm… WHAT THE—?"

Beetlejuice contemplated blinking out of existence right then in there. He had a feeling he was in trouble and confirmed it when the small cherub started shaking; steam bellowing from around the paper, and his now red hands were gripping the parchment so hard it ripped in half. The sun glasses on Cupid's face had once again slid down his nose. His eyes this time weren't cheerful bright neon pink; they were dark foreboding _blood_ _red_. The cherubim's wings sharpened into points and the creature's hair stood up in spikes.

"You _messed_ with THE **L I S T**!"


	3. Terrible Teens

Disclaimer: I don't own Beetlejuice the cartoon or the movie.

…

*_gulp_*

"M-Maybe just one… or t-two…" Beetlejuice held up his finger and hid his other arm behind him; tiring to look sheepish and innocent. His eyes rolled to the top of his head. Then he bent forward with his finger following the line of his back. "… or …all of them. Heh-heh." He squeaked out as sweat began to drip from his brow and down off his hooked nose.

Cupid's shoulders touched his ears as he shoved his face two feet from Beetle's face. Beetlejuice's finger was still bent in front of the red faced cherub.

"_AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_!"

Beetlejuice's finger broke and bent itself backwards with an audible snap at the force of the scream. His hair was whipped away from his startled wide eyed face. Love was scary when it wanted to be, and apparently, Cupid too.

"Ah-hem." Cupid cleared his throat returning to his normal color and form. In a hard, no-nonsense, sinister voice he stated: "Now, you are going to FIX these little MISTAKES …or _else_."

"Or ELSE WHAT? I'm DEAD… ya can't do much more to me." Beetlejuice never knew when to keep his mouth shut; wasn't in his character.

"Oh, really?" Cupid held his hand up to the sky and repositioned his sun glasses.

A large dark red cloud of smoke appeared. It swirled quickly taking a solid shape. The object popped into existence and landed in Cupid's outstretched hand. Holding it up in-between his two fore fingers' and thumb Beetlejuice could clearly see what it was: a large black &amp; read striped heart-tipped arrow that was thicker than the ones in his quiver. On one side it read "The REAL DEAL".

"Beetlejuice." A shiver slithered though BJ's body at the use of is name. "Did you know I'm a spirit like yourself? Like you, I too suffer from a curse, though I'd asked to receive mine." Cupid circled him. "See, I love my job." He pointed the arrow towards himself. "I get to travel between the worlds and bring people together; I get to help them fall in love." He pointed the arrow at Beetle. "Do you really think I would let you, Beetlejuice, run loose with my arrows? HA! Those were fakes! _Puppy love_ compared to what I can really do!" He held up the black &amp; red arrow in-between them. "Now this, this is The REAL DEAL, if you catch my drift."

Beetle nodded stunned into silence. He didn't like where this conversation was going.

"Good. Listen carefully, shoot this arrow…" He laughed insanely. "…and love is guaranteed –**permanent**– unlike the arrows you've used." At Beetlejuice's look of confused horror Cupid began twirling the arrow. "Any guesses on who? " He didn't wait for a reply; with his hand he opened a portal to the real world. "…No, Beetlejuice. He-he. It's NOT you!"

He felt sick at the use of his name the third time and turned to look at the portal.

"It's the one person you_ laa-ooove_!" Cupid singed.

"Lydia…" Nothing could describe how Beetlejuice felt at what he saw. Fear gripped him, twisted his insides, and his heart started to pound in his chest. There she stood in the middle of the carnival's fair grounds. The girl wore a simple dark purple sundress, a red bow tied around her middle, fingerless gloves, and black ballet shoes. She looked lost in thought as a young dark-skinned boy tried to talk her into going out.

Cupid twirled the arrow again, bringing Beetlejuice's attention back towards him.

"LEAVE. _LYDIA. _**ALONE**." Beetlejuice felt his rage snap inside of him. Darkness seemed to swallow him as he became a great mass of snake-like wisps of liquid black goo. The slinking goopy appendages started to reach towards Cupid.

"Oooh, I'm _soooo_ scared!" Cupid wiggled sarcastically at the monster. As Beetlejuice advanced on him Cupid swung the arrow back, and used it like a wand. Swinging it down, and concentrating his magic, a long arch of neon pink lightning shot out from the tip of the arrow.

"HA, take THAT!" The pink lightning surrounded the goo monster, snapping Beetlejuice back into his diaper clad form, an electrocuting him in the process. Beetlejuice's spectral form fell to the ground face first with a loud thud. After a moment the ghost struggled to push himself up; weak from the electric attack.

"Get up, Beetlejuice."

Standing was a wobbly affair, but he managed it. Bent over he caught his breath. _'Wait a minute…'_ He tried to not breathe for a moment, and found that his vision became blurred. Taking a deep breath of air his body began to shake. Beetle realized he was cold; still clad in nothing but a diaper. The diaper itself feeling a bit big on him.

"W-What happened…" His voice sounded weird, squeaky, like when he was younger. Hugging his arms around his shoulders he looked down at his body. He was pale like he should be, but it wasn't a deathly pale. More like a "you-don't-get-enough-sun" pale. He also noticed the lack of roundness his pot-belly had, it wasn't as big as it was before. His fingers were still red tipped but they seemed to blend, like a gradient, into his knuckles.

Weird.

Then he felt it. Slowly, Beetlejuice brought his hand down to his right wrist. A slow steady pulse pumped blood underneath his fingers. Quickly his hands clapped over his ears as his eyes shot wide open. _'Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump...' _It was his heart beat– he could hear it. "I ha-have a HEART BEAT!" Beetle's head snapped in the direction of Cupid. "I-I'm HUMAN?!"

He chuckled. "That's not ALL, Beetlejuice…" The glasses slid down Cupids nose giving him a sly look as he held up a mirror. It clearly showed Beej's new image.

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_! I'M A TEEN-A-GER!" Overloaded with the emotions, sensations, and now THIS chunk of information, Beetlejuice promptly fainted. Rolling his eyes Cupid flew over to the ghost. Grabbing the teen's ear he hauled Beetle to his bare feet. "OW- Hey, that hurts!" Cupid released Beetle's ear.

"Now, _listen_…" He hovered above the boy looking intimidating and slightly frightening. "…you're going to clean up your mess and as an incentive your little _girlfriend_ will go on a date!" He produced his bow, hooked the arrow, and pointed it at the portal. "If you do not finish your tasks by the time her date is over, and Lydia kisses him, she will fall in love. **_Permanently_**." He flew high out of Beetlejuice's reach. "…and she will forget YOU!"

"Wa-WAIT!" Beetlejuice screamed. "I'm human! I CAN'T do ANY of that! Let alone save Lyds!" He pleaded on his knees. "I do-don't have any JUICE!"

"Well, too BAD, Bee-Jay!" Cupid's arm pulled back, pulling the cord taunt, and let the arrow fly.

"LYDIA! _NOOOOOOOOOOO_!" Beetlejuice sprinted off his knees after the arrow and jumped at the portal, his arm out stretched to stop it from entering. Hitting the ground, hard, he quickly scrambled up to look at the scene -Lydia still appeared bored- to his relief. Maybe Cupid missed? Then Beetlejuice watched as the arrow hit her, square in her heart, and she stiffened. The boy besides her looked alarmed. Lydia's eyes glazed over as the arrow dissolved, sinking into her chest. Eyes fluttering, Lydia shakily brought a hand to her temple and tried to focus.

"Hey, Lydia you ok?"

"Yea- Yes? Uh… just felt a little dizzy…" Her eyes locked on to the boy and giggled.

"So, would you like to go on that date?" He held her hand and Beetlejuice turned red with anger.

"Yeah, that sounds great!" She giggled again and Beetlejuice couldn't take it anymore.

Getting up he ran towards the portal, but the closer he got to it the smaller it became, until when his hand finally reached it disappeared with a tiny 'pop' and a flutter of hearts. Beetlejuice sunk to his butt on the ground and just stared off into the Neitherworld's golden abyss. He wrapped his arms around himself and shut his eyes tightly.

_'How could I have let this happen?'_ He belittled himself. _'Now Lydia will forget me forever, she'll fall in love with that breather and I'll never see her again…'_ Sinking into depression Beetle cried. Then Will Power entered his conscious and pulled out a large picture of Lydia.

_'Do you want to be alone for the rest of your afterlife?'_ Will asked.

_'No…'_

_'Do you want to disappoint her?'_ Will pointed at the picture in his mind.

_'NO.'_

_'Well then, are you just going to give up on her?'_ Will challenged, and Beetle never backed down from a challenge, even if it was from himself.

_'__**NO**__!'_

Beetlejuice's jade green eyes opened, blazing with life. He stood up, turned to Cupid, and struck a pose. He spread his arms out and cocked his head at the surprised cherub. "It's SHOWTIME!" He stuck his tongue out, oddly still long and green striped. "OK, let's get started!"

"You're gonna need these." A new L I S T, bow, and bag of arrows appeared on Beetle's waiting person. Cupid watched as the teen ran towards the city with obvious purpose. He only smiled. "All according to plan…" And poofed out of existence once more.

…

Making it to where the Mayor had hidden wasn't as hard as he'd thought it'd be. The running was the real problem; he need a better mode of transportation. Out of breath he pulled out one of the black arrows from his quiver. He aimed it and yelled. "Yo! WORM-BREATH! YEAH OVER HERE!" He pulled the arrow back. "COME A LITTLE _CLOOOSSSSSER_!" The Sandworm turned to him and began to slither its way to where he stood.

"I GOT somethin' for ya!" Beetlejuice snickered. He released the arrow and it landed in the creature's upper lip. Right as the Sandworm screamed to devour him it stopped mid-lunge and blinked. Re-focused its eyes turned to hearts and it gently licked Beetlejuice from toe to head. "Eww, yuck." He shivered. "That was so gross." Shaking off the saliva he hopped on to the back of the Sandworm.

"This will make things easier…"

Unafraid of the giant beast, Beetlejuice found himself having fun riding it. The Sandworm was surprisingly fast, almost as fast as Doomie. Readying another arrow he had the Sandworm corner Mayor Maynot and Ms. Bugsley. He shot an arrow at each of them, then quickly checked the heart-shaped box. Beetlejuice only stuck around long enough to make sure that they only had goo-goo eyes for one another. Anymore and he would have vomited. Their display of affection was downright revolting.

So with the help of the Sandworm he quickly proceeded to find, corner, and shoot the couples on the L I S T. Monster and Monstress hugged and kissed, as well as their dogs Poopsie and Poopette. I. M. Smallhead got together with Miss Argentina and Scuzzo the Clown shared a whipped cream pie with Little Miss Warden. Beetlejuice almost held his lunch down when he shot Jacques and Ginger, surprisingly, because his friends were so happy at their new-found love and he just couldn't berate them for it. This love stuff was starting to get to him, being human &amp; alive… now his emotions were too.

"Hmm… only one more to go…" Beetle scrolled down the L I S T.

...

Donny Juice

(^)

*Non-Applicable*

Claire Brewster

...

Shaking his fist at the paper he screamed.

"How can I match someone who's **_NON-APPLICABLE_**!"

"You can't."

Beetlejuice looked up after nearly jumping out of his skin atop the Sandworm. He'd forgotten how easy fleshies scared when things 'popped out'. Hand to his chest he willed his heart to calm down. He eyed the floating cherub like it was clean water.

"WHAT?" Beetle's eyes followed the cherubim, un-trusting, as the little man floated in front of him.

"It's simple." Cupid tapped his nose. "The person your brother is destined to fall in love with hasn't died yet…" He looked off to the side and whispered to Mr. Monitor's camera crew. "…and on another note the author of this fan-fiction is too lazy to go into details."

"What the heck does that mean?" Beetlejuice asked.

"Now you're free to save LYDIA!" Cupid shouted thrusting his limbs into the air.

Beetle scowled at him.

"How, huh? I _can't_ go to Lyds… she has to CALL me!" Beetle crossed his arms and stood up on the Sandworm.

"Really? Aren't you **human**?" He gave Beetle a sly grin. "Why I bet the Curse Of Three isn't even in effect over your _body_… just your _name_. Say your name three times, don't worry you'll be able too, and you're OUT! Simple. As. Pie!"

Beetlejuice gawked at him, mouth ajar_. 'He had to be kidding? There was no way! Say… my own… __**name**__?'_ Squeamish and suddenly filled with anxiety Beetle began to bite on his nails. They tasted like salt, another reminder that he was alive. Why not?

"Be- Beet-" He huffed out a breath and tried again. "Beetle- ugh Beetleju-" He was almost there. "Be-Beetlejuice!" Goosebumps ran up and down his body as a surge of energy shocked his system.

_'Is this what Lyds feels when she calls me?'_ He thought. "Whoah." Beetlejuice forgot about Cupid. He stood and threw his arms in the air. "Beetlejuice-Beetlejuice-BEETLEJUICE!" He shouted to the sky. In a flash of grey smoke and a giant pink heart Beetle juice disappeared. Slowly, Cupid floated over to where he'd been standing on the Sandworm, and sat down on the wiggling creature.

"He-he… too easy."


	4. Beetleman's Son

Disclaimer: I don't own Beetlejuice the cartoon or the movie, I don't own Grease, and I don't own the original *Screen Play of Beetlejuice.

…

"Oh, Marsha."

"John-"

"_Marsha_-"

"Oh, _John_!"

Suddenly, the sappy couple in the soap-opera was interrupted by your favorite commercial ghost: Mr. Commercial. Stepping out behind a pink curtain with large red hearts he bowed to his audience. His accordion-shaped body wobbled in the purple robe as he began. "Is your future love going to fall in love with another? Feeling a bit _low_…" His body shrunk to the ground. "…because your actions caused the catastrophe? Can't get a date &amp; find your perfect SOUL mate? Well then, just try this wonderful new product from SLIME Industries…" He held up an aerosol can that was pink, red, and had black hearts patterned around the name. "…Attract-Attack. It's sure to get the love of your afterlife to _mutilate_ you!"

Another, faster voice from an unseen party spoke: "From the makers of Worm-Your-Way; because worms need love too." Just as the disembodied voice finished the Realworld television exploded with a flash of yellow lightning and Beetlejuice popped into existence. He stood on table in the back of a Carnival trailer with the smell of fried electronics assaulting his senses. Actually, it seemed as if he could feel and smell everything at once.

Vertigo slammed him as he stumbled off the table. The air smelled of pollution, cotton candy, and its own spring crispness. Beetlejuice felt hypersensitive and had to take a moment to ground his senses. Shaking his head, a little disappointed it didn't spin 360 degrees; he straightened his body and looked around. Beetle figured he'd landed in some sort-of storage/stage trailer judging from the amount of costumes and props.

Listening he could hear singing: "Yeah, you're the one that I want, you are the one I- Whoo-hoo-hoo! Baby!"

"Hmm, they must be performing Grease this year." It was a theme that Peaceful Pines would prepare their own "Broadway" production of a popular love story every year on Valentine's Day. He and Lydia had gone to see several over the years and at one point had participated in one. After their performance the Peaceful Pine's Committee for the Arts began to outsource their actors.

Looking around the room Beetle noticed a rack of clothing and his body shivered. _'Perhaps finding Lydia in a diaper isn't the best idea.'_ He thought and began sorting through the racks. The room held props from Christmas and Halloween shows, so he was able to find a long sleeve horizontally stripped black &amp; white shirt. Fumbling around in the section marked "Grease" he found a pair of fifties style blue jeans with the bottoms rolled up. The jeans were a little tight on his legs but they fit.

Curiosity eating at him he began shuffling through the rack and to his delight found a black leather jacket with the sleeves ripped off. Tearing the "T-Bone" sticker (_a parody on T-Birds_) off the back he put it over his stripped shirt. Walking over to a full length mirror Beetle laughed at himself. Grabbing a comb he did his hair.

"Ha! I look just like I did when I went to High's Ghoul." Beetle rocked back on his heels and realized he wasn't wearing any shoes. "Well, that won't do." Once again searching the room he found the actor's changing section. Searching around a moment he smelt a particular stinky odor and followed the smell to a pair of black and white sneakers. Grabbing the smelly shoes &amp; socks he put them on and snuck out the back of the trailer. Beetle came out alongside the right stage and noted that the show had just finished. Scanning the crowd he found Lydia sitting in the back row in-between her father and the offending breather. He watched as they all got up from their seats and began to leave.

With his eyes solely on Lydia he ran to catch her.

…

"Oh Charles, this is so _romantic_."

"Yes, dear." Charles sneezed. "My allergies love it." His eyes were fixed on the boy holding his daughter's hand a few feet away from him.

"Isn't it so nice that Lydia is finally going on a real date– and with a **NORMAL** boy!"

Grumpily Charles replied. "Yes, although I'd rather she _not_ date at all…"

"_Charles_! Don't say that!" Her smile widened. "Just think, someday she'll be married and having children of her ow-"

Charles at the moment didn't want to think about his Little Pumpkin growing up, let alone getting married and having kids. In fact, he was almost thankful when the strangely dressed teenager practically ran him over. Delia gripped his arm, keeping him on balance, but the teen had landed face-first on the ground.

"_Oh my_, are you alright? Charles quick, quick, help him up!"

Making a face he bent over and offered a hand to the teen. The boy now sat on the grass looking dazed; the fall clearly shook him. Extending his hand Charles locked eye's with, what he deemed at first glance, a Punk. "Here, um…" Charles looked at the small name that was crudely sewn over the front pocket of the boy's jacket. "…_Danny_, I'll help you up." Surprised the teenager looked up at him and Charles had to hold his breath. He'd seen that face before.

But where…

And without thinking Charles spoke: "Mr. Beetleman?"

And because he was so used to the disguise Beetlejuice replied: "Yes?"

Delia stood shocked as her husband and the boy stared surprised at one another. For a moment she wondered what was going on. She puzzled as to why Charles looked so stunned, and why the boy suddenly started to sweat bullets. Then it clicked.

"Why, you must be Mr. Beetleman's son!" The boy's bright green eye's switched from Charles to her and he nodded a yes. "And your name's Danny? Oh! Are you apart of this year's musical?"

"I, um…" _'Think B-man, think!'_ "…uh, I'm not with the musical." At her questioning stare he continued. "Danny is my stage name, *Danny Death, perhaps ya heard of me? I was supposed to perform tonight, play the violin &amp; spew some poetry but I, uh, got canceled." At this point Charles stood and watched as the teen got up and straighten himself. The kid was the spitting image of their handyman; with the exception of the boy's peach skin color. A buzzing thought was spinning in Mr. Deetz's mind that wouldn't let go until he got a rational answer.

"So you are B. J. Beetleman's son? What is your real name if it's not Danny?" Charles's eyes narrowed at the boy, something was off.

"Uh… yeah, B. J. is my…" Beetle's eyes were bouncing around the carnival. "…_dad_." Then his eye's landed on the stage once more, a band had set up there, and they started belting out beats.

"My name is… Beet."

"Beet?" Puzzled Delia.

"Yeah, like the vegetable or the beat of music. Neat, huh?"

"Why how _artistic_! Did you know…"

Charles drowned out his wife's voice as she conversed with the teen. His mind was satisfied with the teen's answer, but there was still a small nagging in the back of his mind. He watched as "Beet" wrung his hands and nervously glanced at the crowd of people behind him. Charles eyes searched the crowd, remembering his daughter, and relaxed when he spotted her. Looking back at Beet, however, he noticed he wasn't the only one looking at Lydia. Then everything formed a perfect picture in his mind; a reasoning that had been bugging him for six years.

Why would his daughter always want to hang out with their crazy handyman? Why did she always seem to want to spend time with him? Why did she always want to go over to his house? The answers to these questions either confused or nauseated Charles, but, for reasons he didn't understand, he trusted his daughter's judgment. He knew if anything was wrong Lydia would come to him. However, after bumping into Beet, all the pieces of his mind's puzzle snapped into place. He reasoned that Beet Beetleman was the reason to why Lydia spent so much time with the older handyman. Why she always grilled the older man for information. Why she constantly went over to Mr. Beetleman's house– it was to see his son.

A weight lifted off of Charles shoulders. He generally liked Mr. Beetleman; the man seemed harmless if obviously a bit of a swindler. Charles never thought the handyman to be a pedophile. After all, B. J. Beetleman had taken Lydia under his wing, shown the girl how to fix a few things, answered her questions, taught her confidence, and over the years became a family friend. Unfortunately, the new feeling of peace quickly disintegrated.

Charles's mind spun a new web of squicky thoughts. Lydia was seventeen. She'd been hanging around Mr. Beetleman since she was twelve. The teen, Beet Beetleman, appeared to be the same age as his daughter. Who knew how long they've been seeing each other, if they were dating, if they were ..._together_. Charles felt a sick angry heat consume him at the thought; he cut into his wife's conversation.

"Just how long have you known Lydia, Mr. Beetleman?" Mr. Deetz was using his "Angry Accusing Father" voice.

"I, well, ha-ha..." Beetle paled, he'd heard that voice once before when he tried to date in High's Ghoul. Feeling oddly small in the presence of Charles Deetz, the man who held the world record for panic attacks and nervous break downs within a year, Beetle tried to form a believable lie. Nothing was coming to him. So Beetlejuice did something didn't do often: he told the truth. "..I-I've known Lyds for years and I'm her… _best_… friend."

It sounded weak even to his ears and judging from Charles face the man didn't believe him. Beetlejuice knew he appeared around Lydia's age, he figured himself to be nineteen, old enough to be out of High School. What do teenager's, of the opposite sex, who knew each other for long periods of time, do together? Especially, if the male half looked the way he did? Beetlejuice gulped.

"Oh see, Charles. Beet is _friends_ with Lydia…" She hoped, as she tried to calm her husband.

"Yes, **_friends_**." He spit out. "I'm _sure_… If you don't mind Beet, I think I'd like to have a _talk_ with your father tomorrow."

Nervous and ready to skip out on the conversation Beetle agreed. Turning around Beetlejuice practically tripped over his own two feet in order to get away from the Deetz couple. A pain in his lungs alerted him that he'd run too fast, too soon as his heart beat frantically in his chest. "Powers That Be, _never_ again!" Beetlejuice leaned against a carnival booth to catch his breath. He felt terrified!

Terrified of _Charles Deetz_!

Of all the breathers in the Realworld!

Beetlejuice felt ashamed of himself. He WAS Lydia's best friend, but had somehow manage to make it seem he wasn't in-front of her father. Not only that, but he'd put himself in an even bigger sticky situation. He would have to go over to the Deetz's household tomorrow as Mr. B. J. Beetleman and talk about "Beet" his supposed son and his relationship with Lydia! "Sometimes I wish my afterlife wasn't so complicated…" He beat his head on the side of the booth.

"Hey! You hit it!"

He heard giggling… Lydia's giggling.

Beetlejuice looked up and moved to the front of the booth. Hidden, he watched as the breather won a pink stuffed teddy bear for her. Beetle's face darkened. _'She'd prefer the stuffed bat, you moron!'_ He thought randomly. Angry he stared daggers at the boy, and entertained the dark thought that if he had his Juice, he really would have. Then his eyes softened at the sight of Lydia's smiling love-struck face. _'Gosh, she's pretty.'_ Thought Beetle, as the girl in question laughed once more. His own face became sappy as his body sagged against the booth in the same sort-of love struck fascination.

"Ah, Lyds…"

…

As if hearing her name Lydia's gaze landed on him. Dazed she shook off the sudden dizziness and looked up at the boy who was staring at her with such intensity it sent a wave of heat through her body. Dressed in what appeared to be a 50's costume he leaned against the booth in a relaxed fashion that suited his "bad boy" image. He wasn't terribly handsome but something about him caught her eye.

Then he quietly spoke two simple words: "Hi, Lyds…" And waved his red tipped fingers at her. He made the fog in her mind disappear, and with it gone, a name came to her. "…Beetlejuice?" She said it in a whisper, but the power behind the name sent her reeling. Feelings of love and friendship flushed her body a light pink; leaving her hot and shaky. Slowly she dragged her eyes away from the strange teen and tried to concentrate on her date.

Yes, her date.

Wait, why was she on a date?

Lydia's mind swirled in confusion as her mind fought with her heart for control of her conscious. Beginning to feel nauseous she had to look up at the boy again. He'd made her feel so grounded in those few seconds. He pulled her out of the mess her mind had become– perhaps he would stop her world from spinning a second time? But when she looked towards the spot he'd been leaning on… nothing.

He'd disappeared, and her mind quickly fogged over once more.

…

Hormones assaulted his body. He was drenched in sweat, his pulse was out of control, he couldn't breathe, and his head pounded with thoughts. _'Am I dying again?'_ Clutching his stripped shirt Beetle hid from Lydia's view. _'Why did I speak to her?'_ He felt like an idiot and willed his mind to travel north instead of south. _'No, no, no, no, that was Lydia! Lydia! Lydia is my best friend, the little girl I'd known for six years, the women I recently started to dream about…'_ Beetle shook his head at the mental image.

"Dang these teenage hormones!" Picture Lydia formed in his mind and his body sagged. Beetle slapped himself. "I'm almost a 700 year ol'poltergeist fer cryin' out loud!" Beetlejuice slid to the floor and began to cry. It felt like his heart tore itself in half. What was happening to him? Was this… love? Heartbreak? Did he really care if Lydia forgot about him? If she fell in love with another man? His thoughts went unanswered.

"Come on, Lydia! Let's go on a ride together!" Lydia's date asked.

Beetlejuice got up and peered around the corner, his eyes hardened and his brows knit together. Hot jealousy surged through his young body. His claw-like fingernails dug into his palms as he watched Lydia get pulled away from him. "Grrrr…stupid Cupid. Don't worry Lyds, I'll save ya." Grumbled Beetle. At the thought of Lydia, Beetlejuice's heart pumped faster and butterflies filled his stomach. Surprisingly, his first though wasn't lunch. Instead a dreamy look covered his face as he thought of the dark haired beauty in the purple and red sundress.

_Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump._

Beetle slapped himself across the face. "I better get to Lyds and save her fast… before _she_ gets to _me_." Beetle began to run after the couple. He bet Cupid made him a human teenager so he'd get distracted by all the hormones. It sure made saving Lydia tricky, Beetle reasoned. After all, he couldn't love his best friend…

…right?


	5. The Spell

Disclaimer: I don't own Beetlejuice the cartoon or the movie.

…

"Oh, _no_." Beetle stood stock still, unnerved. "The Tunnel of **_Love_**."

He watched as Lydia and the breather got into line. One side for girls the other for boys; separated by a curtain. Slowly Beetlejuice got into line behind the breather of his nightmares. He scrutinized the boy. The kid was the definition of average; completely _normal_.

There was no way Lydia would ever glance at this kind of guy. He wasn't even that good looking! Beetlejuice fumed behind the unsuspecting teen as the line moved forward. Then as if living out a nightmare, which in his mind he was, he watched as the breather in front of him got into the swan boat with Lydia and they began their journey of love into the heart-shaped tunnel. Beetle looked down at the water, it was clean obviously, but it was peppered with glitter and colored a light pink.

Water + Love = Super Gross.

He almost recoiled in fear. The man operating the boat just gave him a weird look then shifted his eyes to the right. Beetlejuice followed the man's line of sight and this time he did recoil in fright.

"Like, no way am I, _Claire Brewster_, like getting into that ugly contraption with, like eww, _you_."

"Ditto." Replied Beetlejuice.

"Like, not on your _life_." Claire walked away from the ride.

"Hey, works fer me, babes!" Beetlejuice got into the swan boat alone and sat down. His nerves at this point were shot. The boat jerked as it slowly started to move on its track. He felt queasy. "This is _soooooo_ gonna 'scar me fer the rest of my afterlife…"

Once his eyes adjusted to the dark, something new since as a ghost he could become the dark, Beetle found himself in what would be his personal version of a "haunted house". Glittery pastel hearts, paper cupids, pink, purple, reds and whites everywhere he looked. "This is disgustin'!" He shouted to no one in particular. Standing up he grabbed hold of the swan's head and balanced himself. Squinting, he tried to see into the darkness. _'There she is!'_ Hope rose in his chest at the sight of the swan Lydia was in.

"Lyds! Hey, Lyds! LYDIA!" Beetlejuice yelled. Then he lost his grip for a moment and almost dropped into the water. "Yuck!" Beetle edged back from the side of the tipping swan and sat down. "I almost got… **clean**."

He shivered in alarm and closed his eyes willing the aquaphobia to leave him. Beetlejuice figured he wasn't that far away from Lydia, an in theory, he could jump into her swan. He opened his eyes and stared at the glittering water. Then the flash back hit him: the feeling of water surrounding him, having it blur his vision, and him– forcing it to slowly take his air. Beetle took a deep breath in response.

"To jump or not to jump…" He spoke quietly as his eyes stared at his warm hands. "...six-hundred and thirty-four years and I still can't swim." He squeaked out a bitter laugh. Worried, Beetle didn't notice when his subconscious took literal form on his shoulders. Surprised he jumped at the miniature older Posi and Nega versions of himself. Negajuice was the first to speak.

"You don't need her, she's made you SOFT! She invokes you're EMOTIONS, makes ya do things ya don't wanna do! _Good riddance_ if ya ask me!" Beetlejuice was quite as he listened to the end of his negative version's rant. He looked down at his lap; the little evil guy had a point. Then he heard the positive version of himself clear his throat.

"Lydia is your _best friend_. Ya NEED her. She's what makes your afterlife worth livin'! Where would ya be without Lydia? She's calmed ya down, so that even the people of the Neitherworld are beginning to accept ya! That's what ya want: _acceptance_ and _LOVE_. Do ya really want to lose that? Do ya really want to lose **HER**?" Beetlejuice brought his hands up and clapped his hands over his ears. The two manifestations of his subconscious disappeared in a poof with the action. Beetle was fighting his mind with the new emotions that surged through his heart. Inside, his brain he felt the good and evil versions debate, bickered back and forth, giving him a headache.

"I'll decide for myself, THANK YOU!" Beetle shouted. Then quickly he got up and grabbed the swan's head. Shaking the boat, Beetle pushed all his weight into it, the swan tipped forward, and he waited till the bird's head was out of his way. Timing it just right, Beetlejuice took a deep breath and jumped from the swans dipped head. "FOR LYDIA!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, as the swan boat shot up out of the water, and sent him flying forward in the air towards Lydia.

…

"Beej?"

"Hey, Lyds."

Lydia sat up dazed. Her hair had fallen out of its ponytail, draping around her like a dark curtain. Removing her hair from her view allowed Lydia realize she'd been looking at everything with fish lens all day. She'd just about made the biggest mistake of her life –and for the very same life– couldn't figure out why she tried to do it. Lydia had almost gave her first kiss to a boy she hardly even knew. One hundred percent positive that if Beetlejuice hadn't jumped into her swan boat, landed on her and sent her date overboard, she would have kissed the young man. Ironically, she could still kiss a young man. For some odd reason, a wonderfully odd reason, Beetlejuice was stuck in teenager form.

He was her age!

They both sat apart from each other on the bench in the swan boat. Awkward silence ensued. Beetlejuice sat with his shoulders touching his ears, a deep blush on his face, hands in his lap, and stiff as the board they sat on. Lydia couldn't help but stare at him. She'd always played with the image of what her friend would look like at her age. Most of the time, Lydia just figured he'd assume an older version of "Cousin BJ" and would deepen his voice. But this new version of her friend was a refreshing change.

He did look like he'd stepped out of the musical she foggily recalled seeing earlier, but his complexion was similar to her's. Beetlejuice's voice was high pitched instead of baritone and his hair was cut short, complete with sideburns. He had a slight curl in the back and his hair flopped forward in the front as if it was supposed to be slicked back but decided to become a cowlick. A weird feeling bubbled up into her chest, only this time it wasn't a fog that filled her mind, but a haze that encompassed her vision. Lydia slid her eyelids partially closed as she took-in the rest of his form, and giggled as he turned red, when he noticed what she was doing.

"So, Beej, you look… _alive_?" Her heart beat wildly. "What happened?" Lydia's mind swirled with questions, but not about her recent situation. _'I'm alone on a love boat with Beetlejuice on Valentine's Day…'_ Her face burned with a blush.

Beetlejuice wouldn't look at her when he spoke. "It's a long story, Lyds…" When he turned his head to look at her she was only inches away from his face.

"This is a long ride, Beetlejuice." It was his turn to blush as his face shot backwards from hers. "We've got time."

…

"Y-Yeah, bu-but…" Beetlejuice trailed off as Lydia placed a hand on his leg.

He jumped at the contact and took her hand in his. Beetle could practically feel the heat seeping off of his skin. He felt as if steam formed around them just from the one touch. Gazing into her eyes Beetle relaxed. _'Her eyes are __**preeety**__…'_ His mind dopey thought. Scooting away from Lydia he began to explain. "Heh, to make a long story short, I messed with Cupid, insulted him, ended up gettin' his powers, got forced to do his job, messed that up as well, got turned into a livin' teenager for some sadistic reason, and had to stop you from… kissin' that breather." He finished lamely pointing behind him at the water. He watched as a series of emotions flickered over Lydia's face. Amusement, anger, fear, more amusement, and then something he couldn't place. He held his breath till she finally spoke.

"So Beetlejuice, right now you're human? Cupid is real, and you're in the process of fixing a mistake?"

"Yeah and ta top the entire embarrassin' fiasco off that Short-Stack made me a teenager." Beetle huffed in annoyance.

"Hmm, Beetlejuice… It's _nice_…" Lydia placed her chin on his shoulder.

"Eww, Lyds! The "N" word, gross!" He tried to joke, ease some of the tension that had formed around his neck.

Almost at the edge of the boat Beetle drummed his free hand on the side while he felt Lydia squeeze his right hand reassuringly. He listened as she sighed and felt her head lean against his. _'This isn't so bad…'_ He thought, and in that one moment Beetlejuice finally understood what Lydia had been trying to point out earlier that day. Believing her to be asleep Beetlejuice dropped his mouth to the girl's ear.

"Love ya, Lydia." He straightened and waited for the ride to be over. Beetle didn't feel Lydia shift her head; to slow to react.

"I love you, too, Beetlejuice." It was the third time she said his name. They both poofed out of the swan boat, but just before they did, Lydia had kissed Beetlejuice on the corner of his mouth…

…

"OK, next up!"

The man operating the love boat ride turned around to help the young Goth girl and her date out of the swan. Confused he noticed the boat was empty and an alarm went off in his head. Quickly, he went over to the control panel and sped the next boat up. Sure enough the boy the young Goth was with, sat shivering, wet in the swan. He helped the boy out and asked him what happened. The boy's story only confirmed his suspicions.

The young man that was behind him in line had jumped into the couple's boat and tossed the poor kid into the drink. Shaking his head at the jealous antics of "kids these days" he got the boy a towel. The next couple in line, a middle aged pair seemed intrigued to know what was going on, especially after the wife got a glance at the soaked boy.

"Just some blonde haired Punk pullin' a stunt to get his girlfriend back. S'what I'm guessing." He told the woman– a Mrs. Delia Deetz.

He thought the woman would react badly to this statement. However, as he spoke with the couple he learned that the Goth girl, a Miss Lydia Deetz, had probably been sneaking around behind her parent's backs; a very trusting fatherly back, to be exact. So at the mention of "blonde haired punk" the nervous looking man, a Mr. Charles Deetz, demeanor changed completely. He plunged into a full raving rant about the boy never seeing or touching his daughter EVER again.

Then the blonde haired girl from earlier chipped in. "Like, calm it down, Mr. Deetz." She layered it on thick. "I'm, like, sure they were being, like _careful_." It was the last nail in the coffin for the man.

The love boat operator rolled his eyes as Mr. Deetz began to drag his wife off the carnival grounds, determined to get home, hopefully, before the two teenagers did. The night ended with the soggy boy getting back on the ride with the blonde valley-girl, and him not giving the strange Punk &amp; Goth couple another thought.

…

In a large cloud of light grey smoke, an eyeball, a bat, and a tin can; Beetlejuice arrived holding onto Lydia in the Neitherworld. Looking down at his charge he noticed that she somehow had fallen asleep. Letting out a sigh of relief Beetle's body deflated.

Literally.

Briskly "perking up" he returned to his original form. '_I have my powers back!'_ Beetlejuice thought, and he could jump for joy! He didn't because of the sleeping girl in his arms. Picking her up bridal style Beetle walked over to a store front and took-in the sight of his image. "Ah, back to my ol' gruesome self again!" He smiled, and the glass cracked.

"Hmmm…"

Beetlejuice practically jumped out of his skin, and with his Juice back, almost literally did! Blushing, he looked down at Lydia. She fit snuggly in the crook of his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. "Gosh, I could kiss you..." He selfishly spoke to the sleeping teen. Leaning his face towards her he slowly started to close his eyes…

"BEE-JAY!"

"YIKES!" Beetlejuice jumped six feet into the air, still clutching onto Lydia, but returned to the ground slowly so not to wake her up.

"Don't worry; she won't remember a thing when she wakes up." Cupid chided.

"What?" Beetle grit out in a loud whisper.

"Lydia kissed you… so the spell ended." Cupid shrugged.

Beetlejuice's face contorted in anger. "What do you mean…" Then his face fell at the realization. "…the …**_spell_**." Beetle began to sweat. His mind was working in hyper drive. _'Noooooooooooooooo…'_ He thought._ 'Lydia can't fall in love with ME! She has a life to live and I'm a dead guy, what could I offer her? This will totally ruin our friendship… though maybe when she grows up somemore…'_ Beetle's mind started migrating south. Cupid paying attention to the ghost's facial mood swings thought it best to interrupt whatever thought the ghost would surly get into trouble with.

"She didn't "fall in love" with you; well, not _romantically_ anyway…" Noticing he finally had Beetle's full attention he continued. "Lydia loves you in a _platonic_ way…" _'For now.'_ Thought the Cherubim. "…she always has and will continue to show it, but you Beetlejuice, you mocked that love by denying its very **existence**! I mean, really? It took this whole little fiasco to prove that you can freely care and openly admit your love for Lydia." _'It helped that while stuck as a human teenager your emotions were skewed.'_ "Valentine's Day is important, but every day you show your love is a step in the right direction."

Something still bugged Beetlejuice. "Hey, Cupid. I thought you said that arrow was "The Real Deal", so why did Lydia come out of her love-struck state whenever I appeared?"

"Oh, you see…" _'I __**should**__ tell him the truth.'_ He thought. "…Lydia loved you first, so naturally, when in your presence her love for you took precedence over the arrow's effects." The small Cherub floated above the couple and watched as Beetle's hair covered his face. Cupid could see the lone tear, even with his shades on, and decided to back away. The small winged man tsked, tsked.

"Do you know how hard it is to get the dead to fall in LOVE? Half of you don't even have hearts!" Whined Cupid, trying to lighten the mood. This had been his most challenging couple to date. Well, not since that rag-doll and skeleton man in Halloween Town, but that was a different story altogether.

"Whatever…" Beetle finally replied. "…only said that stuff 'cause it was Lyds."

Cupid just rolled his eyes, but an admission was still an admission. Pulling out a bleach white list from his diaper he checked the heart-box between the names of Beetlejuice &amp; Lydia. Poofing the paper into the void he stretched out into the air. "Good, I think you've learned your lesson! Valentine's Day is special and so is Lydia! You've generally learned to love both…" He paused to do a flip in the air and shrugged at the sour face on Beetlejuice. "Now, if you'll excuse me I have many, many, _many_ more living and dead people to couple!"

Before Cupid disappeared, underneath his breath he added: "… and I'll see you both in _ten years_!" Cupid poofed out of existence, once again, in a swirling cloud of pink-white smoke and red hearts. Beetlejuice still clutching Lydia dropped to the pavement, exhausted. Not too many dead guys claimed to lead the same sort of _lively_ afterlife-style that Beetlejuice did. Of course, it sure did take its toll.

"Mmmm… Beetlejuice?"

Beetle jumped at the sound of his name but remembered that he should get Lydia home before she woke up, because seriously? How was he going to explain this one?

"Come on, babes, two more times…"

"Ahh, Beetle...juice…"

"One more, Lyds…"

"Beet...le..juice…?" Lydia's eyes cracked open a sliver just before they were shot back to the Real World in a cloud of grey smoke.


	6. Sappy Valentine's Day

Disclaimer: I don't own Beetlejuice the cartoon or the movie. "You Are The One That I Want" is a great song at the end of the movie "Grease".

…

"Mmmm…"

Waking up on her bed Lydia slowly sat up. With her right hand covering her eye she peered at her vanity. Lydia's purple sundress was crumpled and her hair stuck out in odd angles; she was a complete mess. "Ugh…Wha-What happened?" She stood up and straightened her dress. "I must have fallen asleep in my outfit."

Lydia looked over at the clock, it read: 11:56. "Too late for the Carnival…" Her face sagged in disappointment. "Would have sucked anyway and I bet Beej is still sulking."

For all that Lydia should still be mad at the poltergeist for saying he didn't love or care for her, Lydia knew he didn't mean it. Beetlejuice on a bad day still oozed the essence of a humor filled man-child. The fight Lydia could get over with, could let go, but it was the dream afterwards that left her frazzled. She got up from her bed in a daze, letting her mind wander.

Sitting down at her vanity mirror Lydia began to straighten her long black hair with a brush while humming "You Are The One That I Want" tune, but couldn't figure out why. It had to be because of the dream. Beetlejuice dressed as a 50's Punk she could handle, but a living teenage Beetlejuice who was acting bashful and lovey-dovey around her?

Mental-overload.

Finished brushing her hair Lydia put the comb down and put her hair up with her favorite pink &amp; purple scrunchie. Looking at her refection in the mirror Lydia watched as her face started to swirl, round and round, till she looked like a Dali-Picasso hybrid. Then the picture snapped clear and Beetlejuice's face appeared.

"BOO!" The ghost smiled at her. "Yo, babes, ya still mad at me…?"

"Ahhhh, ha-ha-ha… No Beej, I forgive you. I know how you feel about the _holiday_, remember?"

"Yeah, well…" Beetlejuice blushed. "I shouldn'ta said what I did, ya know?"

"BJ, you shouldn't answer a question with a question."

"Heh, sure thing, Babes…" He scratched the back of his head. "Uh, Happy Valentine's Day Lyd-Lydia." The girl's eyes opened fully, not only had her best friend said her full name, but he stuttered on it.

A smile crept to her lips. "Awe, thanks Beetlejuice," The smile turned into a sly grin. "…Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" She picked up his present from earlier off the table and handed it to him through the mirror.

"Thanks, Babes." He smiled warmly at her and Lydia's stomach did a back flip. "Hey, um, Lyds… I, uh, I go-got somethin' fer ya, too."

To her shocked surprise Lydia watched as the red-faced poltergeist searched all around in his pockets. "A-ha!" He'd found it and pulled out the object from inside his coat.

"Here ya go, Lyds!"

"Oh, Beej…" It was a blood red half a heart. "Thank you, BJ."

Lydia's eyes returned to the mirror only to find in its depths a swirling mass of grey fog. Confused she touched the liquid-like surface and wondered where her friend could have gone off too. Lydia looked down at the card in her hands. _'So sweet and sooooo unlike him…'_ Lydia thought. _'He never liked Valentine's Day, I wonder what changed?'_ "I wonder if something will POP out and try to SCARE me? That would be just like you, Beej." Lydia baited the mirror, then after no response from the ghost decided to finally open the card…

…into a perfectly symmetrical heart.

Lydia's eye's watered. A tear of joy and gratitude dripped down from her cheek onto the red paper. The black lettering was done in his usual scribble, but it was smaller and a little more refined. She read the words aloud.

"Raven hair as blackest night,

Brown eyes that stop me in your sight,

Thou I'm dead my afterlife I won't rue,

'Cause Babes – I Love You."

Tears freely fell down the young girls face as she held the card to her heart. It wasn't a prank. The words held a sophistication and an eerie ring of truth. Crying harder she thanked the mirror and kissed the rippling surface.

"Beetlejuice, _thank you_."

…

Beetle watched, floating a foot away from his side of the mirror, out of sight as Lydia read the card aloud. A strange and warm sensation spread through him as she smiled and let the tears run down her cheeks. Happy tears. When Lydia kissed mirror he watched curiously as she got into bed, still clutching the heart, and before falling asleep said his name two more times locking him out of her world. Beetlejuice just smiled, not at all mad that she'd closed the portal, and put his forehead to the glass as he watched her sleep.

"Glad ya liked it, Babes."

…

Fin


End file.
